Earlier this week, Xander Schauffele said he’d just had a career year, but he’d need to somehow outdo himself in 2025 to catch up with Scottie Scheffler. Making a snowman in the opening round of the Zozo Championship was probably not what he had in mind when he said that.
But the thing about Xander is, he’s very good at letting things roll off his back. Especially in the moment, like on Thursday at Narashino, where the two-time major champion made eight consecutive pars to begin his first round before disaster struck at the par-4 ninth.
Schauffele’s drive found the “tree outline” according to the PGA Tour app, which could mean any number of things, as hardcore gamblers know. Could mean Schauffele still had a shot, could mean he had to just chip out, or it could mean he was in jail. It turned out to be a maximum security prison, and Schauffele tried to play his way out of the situation two times. He failed both times, leading to a sensational exchange between he and his caddie, Austin Kaiser:
Nice to see that not even a two-time major champion is immune from the “I am such a dumbass” laugh on the golf course pic.twitter.com/xMuyEgxU3e
— Patrick McDonald (@pmcdonaldCBS) October 24, 2024
Where to begin. That “Now?” is all-time. A two-time major champion just in disbelief, standing there asking, “Now what the f–k do I do?” essentially. Kaiser hitting him with the “damage is already done” as if the toilet is overflowing and you’re still plunging is so good.
But for me, the best part has to be Schauffele counting out “one… two…” under his breath, as if he’s a 24-handicapper just learning the game and playing it as honestly as possible. A genuine “tour pros are just like us” moment.
Naturally, Schauffele was able to laugh it off both during and after the round.
“No.9 just, it was an incredible spot. I wanted to take a photo of it almost, how bad it was,” Schauffele said. “For me to think I can do anything definitely got me in a hole there. I should have just taken an unplayable, but I was an idiot and tried to hit it. Then I was stubborn and then tried to hit it again, then finally took an unplayable. I was going to hit it a third time too just because, but yeah, it was a bad spot.”
Would have been very, very funny if he just kept whacking at it like Happy Gilmore out of that impossibly thick lie. Perhaps the wildest part of all? Schauffele’s scorecard:
This is actually a generational scorecard pic.twitter.com/rV4pWw42b0
— Christopher Powers (@CPowers14) October 24, 2024
Sixteen pars. Birdie and a quad. That’s frame-worthy.